VERY interesting response to my research question about black wedding dresses, which I'll copy below. These were put up on Mooky Chick, a blog site where views on alternative fashion / culture are discussed by women (mostly) of all ages.
Would love any responses that you, my Atelier people have on the comments. You can reply here, or on my Atelier facebook page.
Here they are (first the question I asked):
"Hello my friends..... a bit of research. I really would like some of your thoughts - if you could spare a few minutes...It's the idea of black wedding dresses....
Whether you are male or female, and I'm genuinely interested in both men's and women's views, would you find it offensive if you went to a non church wedding, and the bride was wearing black? What if the dress was 50% black (if you found the whole black dress disturbing), would you be less worried by the latter? So many people wear so much black, but do you draw the line at black for a wedding, and why? Or why not?! Thank you people! Dying to hear your answers..."
I wouldn't be offended if someone wore black for their wedding, and if I saw a black wedding dress that I loved enough, I'd sure as hell get married in it.
The white wedding thing isn't as old or as traditional as everyone seems to think. Most of the time your wedding dress was your best clothes, if they happened to be black, brown or red then to hell with it, that was what you wore. It was only ricer people who could afford to spend fantastic amounts of money on something that they would only wear once that white came into vogue. Lets face it, without proper care, nothing expansive and white is worth wearing more then once. I for one would get it too grimy after ten minutes of use. White also never strictly symbolised virginity, but was more representative of youth. A young widow could still wear white, whereas a spinster marrying for the first time having never had a sexual relationship in her life would still wear a more modest colour...
Frankly, I feel uncomfortable in things that aren't strictly what I'd wear, even if I fit in with everyone else. I'd rather be the girl in jeans and sneakers at the posh club then totter around in a handkerchief of a skirt on six inch heels. My wedding day is the day I'd not want to feel self-conscious about AT ALL. I don't want my memories of 'the happiest day of my life' to be littered with 'does this colour make me look like the bastard love child of Casper the friendly ghost and Michael Jackson?'. I wear quite a lot of black anyway so I'd feel pretty okay in a black wedding dress. Its MY wedding, why the hell not?
Dresses with black... depends what colour the rest of it is. Not that I have any objections at all to people getting married in whatever colour they want, or as many colours as they want. I've seen quite a few dresses with black embroidery on the bodices recently (I pass a two wedding dress shops every day, I'm not some freak that searches for wedding dresses whilst single...) and they look quite stunning. A way to bring in some darkness but keeping the 'traditional' white wedding I suppose.
And I'm 19. Just had to throw that in there somewhere.
If it was a non-church wedding, I wouldn't be offended or even surprised. People have non-church weddings so that they can be non-traditional (and also if they aren't christian, I know I know).
But I do think it sends a slightly weird message if the dress looks funeral-y. It is meant to be a happy occasion after all. But each to their own.
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I quite like the idea of a black wedding dress, as someone who wears a lot of black and hardly ever wears light colours, I'd feel so much more comfortable in a black dress (not to mention the state of the light dress after ten minutes of my messiness!!). Also, your wedding dress is supposed to be the best and most magical dress a girl should ever have, it should be perfect, but why should it be white/ivory/cream/oyster etc? It should be how the individual wants it to be and if the individual wants black, rainbow or neon pink then so be it!
I don't think black should be offensive at a wedding, many people opt to have non-black funerals now, but no-one see's that as offensive. Also, as my mother-in-law keeps reminding me, 'white lilies are a 'death' flower', however many people, (me included) have them as wedding flowers.
I find wedding dresses that are more than one colour much more unique, even if its just trims and extras that are coloured.
I'm 22 and engaged so have looked at many ideas for a dress. Its not easy to find one that has a dark colour on it!
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I'm probably not the best person for this, as i think the money people spend on weddings would be best spent on a house deposit or your kids education, but here goes;
would you find it offensive if you went to a non church wedding, and the bride was wearing black?
no, not a church or other venue, as long as the person wearing the dress is happy with it, that's fine by me . i find the whole tradition of a 'white wedding' a little silly in the 21st century when the majority of people co-habit before marriage and white can be such an unforgiving colour, especially in a shiny fabric, black is easier to wear.
What if the dress was 50% black (if you found the whole black dress disturbing), would you be less worried by the latter?
it would make no difference to me (for the reasons above) and it would mean you could re-wear your dress for other formal occasions, so good for recycling kudos points. do you draw the line at black for a wedding, and why? Or why not?!
black, rainbow, space alien themed, your pet boa constrictor as ring bearer...bring it on, it makes it easier for me not to upstage the bride with my crazy hair if she's wearing something equally, if not more, fabulous.
(oh yeah, and i'm 41)
I've seen a few stunning weddingdresses in black. I want all of them. Black is the colour of elegance after all. I've also seen weddingdresses in blood red, as well as in emerald green. To me, it's nothing wrong with it, be it in a church or elsewhere.
There are always people who will be offended by anything that differentiates from the norm. Hopefully, they have manners enough to keep such opinions to themselves when at someones wedding.
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I'll never get married but if I did, I'd wear black. My mother wore black at her wedding and she looked beautiful. I think black suits me, I feel comfortable wearing black and most of my clothes are black.
I don't think people should be offended by brides wearing black, it's not like it's their wedding, right?
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I find the idea of a black wedding dress very romantic. I would most certainly not be offended. I've seen some absolutely gorgeous black wedding dresses.
If I ever get married I think i'd have it varying shades of darkish grey. I think I would maybe have a black wedding dress although pretty much my entire wardrobe is black so I think I would like to have something a little different to how I normally dress.
And I'm 15.
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i would not be offended by a black wedding dress, whether it was church-related or not. as with the 50/50, i noticed that its very "contemporary" to have color accents and i've seen a lot of dresses that have black detailing that compliment the black/white theme weddings normally have. personally, solid white looks absolutely HORRIBLE on me so i know i wont go for a traditional white when/if i get married. (and im 18)
as for the "why not" i would probably not buy a solid black dress for fear of offending/alienating myself to family members and guests.
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I don't like balck wedding dress, I like the color of pure white or champagne. Okay, i am traditional a bit. I feel odd to wear black wedding dress though I like black other clothings, such as day dress, black blouses, black t-shirts. well...everyone has different taste. Enjoy black wedding dress, guys
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Personally it wouldn't bother me what colour dress somebody would wear to their wedding, after all, it's their day, not mine and I don't see how it being a church wedding or not would make any difference. Same goes to if the bride didn't want to wear a dress and wore like a suit or something instead, it's their wedding, not mine and all that matters is if they like it and if they feel good about it.
I personally don't want to get married (if I decide to get married) in a completely white dress just because I'm not a fan of completely white dresses, but I think I would like the main colour to be white (or a shade of), which some people might find odd, but it's my wedding, I choose the dress.
So no, I wouldn't draw the line at wearing black to a wedding, or anywhere for that matter. Although when I die I would like people to dress brightly for it instead of black, because as with completely white dresses, I don't like completely black dresses or outfits.
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Enjoy black wedding dress, guys
I am sure we will, indeed, enjoy "black wedding dress". Thank you.
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If I ever get married, I would love to wear a black dress! Raspectre, if your Stepmum decide to really make black wedding dresses, please let us know.
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I got married in a white dress, mostly because it was the best dress I had at the time. But I'm not really a huge fan of white wedding dresses, the symbolism is a bit meh. I don't think that sexual "purity" is something that is suitable to be associated with a wedding, it should all be about love and fertility. Also white is a colour that I do associate with death -not really good in a wedding. I'm not sure if I'm a huge fan of black wedding dresses either, it's a colour that is too sombre for a bride if you ask me, but to each their own. And black is at least a better colour than white for a wedding dress the way I see it.
Another positive thing about black wedding dresses is that I imagine that they could be used on later occasions too. To buy a dress that you only wear once is terribly wasteful both to your wallet and the environment.
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The first time I got married I wore white and I friggin hated it! I didn't look like myself at all. If I ever get married again I've decided I'll most likely wear black, I want to wear something that also shows my personality I suppose, not just boring white that everyone wears.
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I think black wedding dresses are cool, they're much more practical and they look nicer than plain white.
People should be able to choose what they want to wear for their own wedding, not conform to other peoples ideals. Wear what you want and be happy!
Oh and I'm 13, so my ideas could change if I ever decide to marry.
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Would you find it offensive if you went to a non church wedding, and the bride was wearing black?
Not at all. It's up to the bride what she wears! Sure non church weddings are usually less formal and less traditional than church weddings. IMO you are more likely to see a black dress (i.e. something non traditional) at a non church wedding.
What if the dress was 50% black (if you found the whole black dress disturbing), would you be less worried by the latter?
Black dresses worn by brides do not bother me. It's totally a matter of personal preference, and if the bride wants to wear a black dress, she certainly should. You won't feel comfortable wearing something just for the reason of "it's traditional."
So many people wear so much black, but do you draw the line at black for a wedding, and why? Or why not?!
Nah! I can't stress enough that the bride should wear whatever she feels comfortable in, whether it's a black dress, white dress, yellow dress, rainbow coloured dress... whatever she wants! :) I've always said if I ever get married, I will get married in a non traditional white dress, like a short(ish) quirky kind of one. Or I will get married in a traditional dress that's black, emerald green or royal blue.
I have no particular preferences at the moment and don't think about what dress I'd like, but rather its colour. The colour is the most significant part for me. Each colour has its own meaning and its own meaning can be interpreted as your own. White symbolises purity. This was seen (and I suppose still is seen) as symbolizing the bride's virginity. To me and others it stands for a clean, fresh start; a new beginning (regardless of your virginity). Black stands for banishing and releasing. Though it is usually seen as quite dark and perhaps somber and morbid to many people. I see it as releasing your past and going on to your future life with a new person. Black also conceals you against bad energies, prepares you for a new (unknown) time in your life and opens doors to mystery. So black, in my opinion, is a good colour for a wedding dress when you think of it like this :)
Edit: I'm 20 years old and plan to have a handfasting as my official wedding, and then get married in a registry office.
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As you're all going to be very aware (and sick of hearing) over the next 10 months, my mum is getting married in September and is having a black and white theme, so her dress could well be 50% + black.
I think black wedding dresses can look lovely and half black is a nice twist on the usual 'traditional' styles. i also like white/ivory dresses with black detailing.
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It's the bride's dress, and I think she should be able to wear whatever she wants. If she wants to dress up as a lobster, that's fine too. I personally if I got married would not wear a black wedding dress, but that's more because I don't wear black than because I have a problem with black wedding dresses.
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